I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
