is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think your dad took our porno
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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