Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
please come you make the beer taste better
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
