hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
