Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
