At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
