No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
