Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I am mentally ready for anal.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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