I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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