Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize