Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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