So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's official drugs can't kill me
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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