Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
