I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
