Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
