We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
