well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize