Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
