it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize