stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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