So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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