She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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