How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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