It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
