Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize