we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
