Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
whose parrot is this?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize