Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
