Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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