I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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