I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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