Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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