funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
my poor anus
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
