Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My dick has a subreddit
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
