Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
