I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
