Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
