i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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