i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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