And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
so much tequila, so little girl.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
