Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
