Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize