Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
