She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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