Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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