If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
