So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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