sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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