That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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