Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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