the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
