wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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