i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
