There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize