i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
