Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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