the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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