This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
