Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
