Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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