she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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